Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011)

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2 Out of 5 Graves)

The third installment of the series was, well, the third installment.  I think its inherently hard to make decent serialized episodes of such an important series.  Many of us grew up watching the transformers  as kids and its a bit of a sacred institution to those of us who watched them every day after a hard day getting tortured at school.

That sets the bar kind of high.

The first movie was definitely the best. The second movie took a nose dive directly at the ground and the third movie started to pull up, struggling to get the franchise back on course. It succeeded on some fronts and failed on others.

On the success side:

  • It wasn’t as bad as the second movie.
  • Many of the fight scenes are awesome.
  • Dutch was entertaining.  They should have let him go nuts a second time and kick some real ass.

On the failure side we had a longer list of issues:

  • Megan Fox was fired for calling Michael Bay a socially retarded Hitler.  I get it, Hitler was a horrible person and calling your boss a socially retarded Hitler is a dumb idea, but the movie has nothing to do with the reality.  Like Mikaela’s character ever would have dumped Sam Witwicky.  It was a dump plot point to even say they broke up.  It would have been more realistic to say she died. I can’t believe anything short of death would have broken them up after the first two movies.
  • Sam Witwicky has two small autobot rejects with him in his apartment.  He is apparently their babysitter?  But he doesn’t have any government clearance and the director of national security treats him like crap because he is just a teenager? It just doesn’t make any sense.
  • Sam doesn’t have a batphone to call BumbleBee? Come on, Bumblebee is his best friend, he would have been given a way to call him for help when he needed it.
  • When the bad guys put the spy device on Sam’s arm none of the autobots can detect it? Even if they can’t tell its there they should have picked up on Sam’s strange behavior.  It was just over the top.
  • Optimus Prime has plasma swords and axes but he can’t get out of some construction debris? Arghhhhh – I hate it when the movie rules are bent.  I don’t care if you make up your own rules for the movie, but be consistent.  Is he a badass or not?
  • Optimus Prime can’t win the fight with two arms, but after he loses one he can one shot his enemies without problem.  This really goes back to “Stick to the Rules”.  If you have an internal schema for the movie, stick to it.  The bad ass shouldn’t be a wuss one second, a badass the second, and then a wuss again.
  • Sorry Carly, you’re no Megan Fox.  I strongly suspect that someone paid Maxim a lot of money to name you the sexiest woman alive or whatever they labelled her. Rosie Huntington-Whiteley’s cute, but she doesn’t have the same sultry appeal that Megan Fox did. I’m sure the scenes of her butt in underwear at the beginning were supposed to be sexy, but I thought she needed a bit more muscle tone.  There was just a bit too much roundness there for me.  Megan had a bit more of an athletic body.
  • If Sentinel was a bad guy why did he not take the spark when Optimus offered it? It just didn’t make any sense.

So all in all the movie was a high 2, but still a 2.  Spend a little more time on the story next time and make sure you round out the edges and follow your own rules.  The standard isn’t that it has to be believable in our reality, but it has to be believable in the world the movie builds up.  If it fails that, its hard to really enjoy the experience overall.