Go back to Prepare
So you’ve listened to the radio and watched as reports of riots slowly turned into disturbing reports of strong military response and martial law as they try and isolate the infected areas. You’ve kept your ready bag packed and its time to go, other people, less prepared, but frightened by the strange news, are flooding the streets, already the highways are jammed.
Its time to make your first jump to your emergency location.
But how did you pick the emergency jump point?
- It has to be close enough to reach in a days effort – assume the best speed you’re going to make is on a motorbike, but its safer to bet you’ll be walking. People aren’t going to pull you off your feet to steal your shoes (yet) but they just might pull you off your motorbike if they are scared enough.
- It has to be defensible, and preferably has some supplies stockpiles. Don’t think your local supermarket, Wal-Mart, K-Mart, or CostCo’s is the place to go. They will be the first place to be looted in the crossover days, when the undead are claiming complete control but there are still a fair number of people fighting for their lives.
- Forget about the local prison. While it is designed to keep people in and to a fair degree, out – its full of poeple in cells who will do just about anything once the guards flee. Unless your willing to watch them starve, and live with the smell, this is a really bad idea. I would imagine the smell of rotting meat would bring a few hungry undead to your door.
- Your best bet is to keep it simple. It should be a two story building, with as much space around it as possible. You want to see what’s coming at you. No row homes, the walls are drywall and some insulation, the undead will go right through it.
- If you can, take down the stairs, but don’t do it if there is a risk you will be heard. Its no good if your “safe” but surrounded by the undead. The goal of the Emergency Jump Point is to stay unnoticed and survive the flash of chaos while most of the survivors kill each other and get eaten.
If you can scope out the location and leave supplies there, remember to keep the following on hand:
- A powerful cordless drill and multiple battery packs. Buy the contracters kit if you can so you can leave the extra batteries on the charger and ready to go when the power dies.
- Boxes of three inch screws. Trust me, this is quieter than hammering.
- A pile of two by fours and a pile of pre cut pieces wide enough to cover your windows. If your really well prepared you can make “storm shutters” to screw over the windows made out of plywood. But remember to bold all this on the inside and try to keep the outside looking as normal as possible. You don’t want to attract a horde of survivors to eat your food.
- If you can keep guns onhand, these are always a bonus item
Coming next…your Final Jump Point
Undead (2003) (2 out of 5 Graves)
This movie competes for a special place in my heart. Where else are you going to see some pretty awesomely bad special effects including a fight with zombie fish, and best of all, a lead character who can make hand guns pop out of his ass? I almost pee’d myself when he does his little hip flick and two guns come flying over his shoulders to end up in his hands – while he’s buck naked.
Worth watching over a couple of beers, but only if you know what your getting into, which is awesome low grade B movieness.
Awareness is your first and most important survival tool.
A large portion of those who could have survived won’t because they will shrug off the early signs. Reports of small riots followed by military response is a sure first sign its coming. Listen to the radio, its less controlled then televsion and your more likely to get early hints of badness. Make sure you have a portable radio with lots of batteries, or better yet, get yourself a hand crank unit.
Make sure you have your survival kit ready. Tell your friends you like to go hiking and play baseball on the spur of the moment, that’s why you keep a pack with freeze dried food with a baseball bat strapped to its side by the front door.
Be ready to mobilize when needed. Have a plan to get away from the population centers, and a back up plan. If you live anywhere on the east or west coast your going to be shocked at how quickly the roads become impassable. Your travel plan should consist of two phases. Phase one is the emergency jump. Where are you going to run to when the end starts. This is where you need to be when the storm hits. The human race is going to go out with a bang and you are going to be in just as much danger from other survivors as from the undead during the initial collapse. Your emergency jump location needs to be close enough you can get to it in a reasonable amount of time, and you must be able to lock it down tight. Phase two is the final jump. After everyone who is going down easy is dead and the streets are quiet during the days, you need to quietly and carefully make your way to your final location. Be ready to hump it, cars make a ton of noise, and the streets are going to be full of the vehicles how tried to flee too late – which leads to the next three points.
Get fit. Your going to be carrying your supplies before too long.
Get fit. Your going to be swinging a baseball bat or an ax for survival.
Get fit. Watch Zombieland – movies sometimes have a bit of truth in them. The fatties die first.
Coming next…how do I choose my emergency jump location?
Zombieland (2009) (5 out of 5 Graves)
I highly recommend Zombieland, especially if your trying to break somebody new into the zombie loving fold. Its like the liquor and pills your friends gave you before pulling out the bong and the meth – the perfect introduction which will most likely lead to the heavy stuff.
Perfect if your trying to get your wife or girlfriend to actually watch a zombie movie with you. She’ll stay for the emotional bonding of a ragtag group of survivors while you stay to see the best cameo death ever made and an awesome shootout at the end. Not to mention the random laughs the whole cast provides throughout.
If you didn’t like Zombieland, your probably a shuffling undead corpse already.
Cross Plains, Texas
Rob sat in the passenger seat of his pickup truck looking down at the gun in his hand. The truck was parked on Main Street down from the Municipal Building. To a passerby it might look like he was asleep, or weeping. The knurling from the little Colts handle had left a diamond pattern on the skin of his left palm in which he had just been holding it. He watched the blood quickly flow back in to the tiny white squares and gripped the gun tighter in his right hand. He coughed and thought about raising the gun to his head. So quick and it will be over. Should have just done it at the motel, who cares what the inquest finds, they are still gone.
“Honey I will be right back and yes I have your list. Mazey – you want to head to the store with your old Pops?” She hadn’t – a new Samurai Jack was on and she was engrossed as usual. Rob left her sitting in front of the tv while some cartoon creature sprung from jungle branch to branch. “I will be back in a jiff,” he had announced to the house as he shut the front door.
And he was – but the house wasn’t.
Read the Complete Chapter
Yes, I know the site was down for about an hour and a half.
Very sorry – I bought some new URLs and a few other things and when I set the domain forwarding something got whacked.
Thank you very much to Krista from support for getting it resolved so rapidly.
The last Airbender (2010) (1 out of 5 Graves)
I so badly wanted to watch this movie and like it. We have all three of the cartoon seasons on itunes and we’ve watched every episode at least two or three times. My youngest son has a rare eye disorder where he goes through periods of blindness, and he loves to listen to the Airbender cartoons even when he can’t see, so needless to say – we know the cartoon very well.
It hurt not to like the movie. But it was just horrible. Unwatchable. I implore you not to buy it, it is a waste of your money. We turned if off half way through, and then I forced myself to watch the end so I could write this review in good conscious without feeling like maybe, just maybe, the end redeemed the beginning. But alas, not a chance.
What were they thinking?
- The airbender tattoos are blue, not some oriental artwork.
- Why would you pronounce the names differently? It makes no friggin sense.
- The action scenes were horrible. They’d dance about for ten seconds to make a little jet of air. It just looked stupid.
- Uncle Iroh is supposed to be a little pudgy and fun – he grows into the respected and powerful man you know him to be later as you start to really see what his motivations are. Sorry Shaun Toub – but the part just wasn’t for you.
If you spend good money on this I’m sorry for you, but mor importantly, if you wasted your time on it, then you only have yourself to blame. I warned you.
One Foot in the Grave by Jeaniene Frost (5 Out of 5 Graves)
If you liked the first book, the second won’t dissapoint. The action get’s hotter on every front. Mrs. Frost delivers a page turner with the right mix of action, covering everything from vampire fights to epic love.
The first book felt like a one shot deal when it ended – but the second book picks up the storyline in a believable fashion and brings everything back to life. The first book was good, but the second in the series really highlighted Catherine Crawfield’s vampire killing skills.
Better than Sookie Stackhouse, the action is faster and hotter, and doesn’t pull any punches.
Definetly too much for any fan of Twilight. Sorry Twi-hards.
Just created my first Facebook entry – ever.
We’ll see how well it works and whether it makes me want to give up computers forever.