Month: September 2011

Episode  5, Zombie Fights

Summary:

It’s a nursing home, not a zombie infested hospital you jerk.

I was a bit worries after last weeks episode, but “Zombie Fights” delivered the goods, thanks to Bryan Callen for the most part. He get’s multiple solid laughs throughout the show.

Things I loved about this episode…

• It’s not important who did this, so I feel totally comfortable saying it was “Jon-Jon”
• Zombie Fights – It sounds disgusting and completely debased. I’d like to see one. Bryan Callen brings the laughs.
• A gentleman’s bet.
• Kirsten always ends up with one cheek hanging out when she buys cheap underwear. She’s so hot.
• I wish nothing but bad things on all of you – drive safe.
• Carla in the bar, nice shirt, and nice kiss. I think she likes Kirsten. I hope she likes Kirsten. Please have it on tape MTV.
• Captain Dashell and his uber gay goodbye speech.

Things that I didn’t like about this episode…

• Poor Jon-Jon.
• Poor Stubeck gets the shit kicked out of him.
• The episode made up for last week, so not much to complain about.

Episode  4, Two Girls, One Cop

Summary:

A werewolf goes crazy on his pornstar friends and Jonjon wants to go at it with a bat.  I’m not sure exactly how though.

While the premise of werewolves at a porn shoot sounds great, the episode lagged a bit. The fourth episode was okay, but it had the least amount of real laughs in the series so far.

Things I loved about this episode…

• We can’t find our makeup girl, and we do a lot of close ups.
• She can make a vagina look like a pair of Swedish baby thumbs?
• Kirsten kicking some ass.
• “Cough – lawsuit, cough – lawsuit.”

Things that I didn’t like about this episode…

• Do you really talk into a d*ldo you find at a porn shoot? Gross…
• Were the porn stars a bit chubby?
• Stubeck talking to the porn star about why she got into the business.  It made being a porn star sound just a bit too nice.

Episode  3

Summary:

The blood mobiles are being robbed. Time to kick some vamp ass.

Another great episode.  I just wish they were an hour long.

Things I loved about this episode…

• Kirsten is hot.
• I have subcutaneous fat, so getting that V is out of the question. (yeah, me too)
• Stubeck calls a time out.
• The bat never runs out of ammo. How f*cking true.
• GBGB – Give blood, get buzzed. It tastes like jager.  It looks a bit like a dirty sanchez to me.
• Save us cookies, we’ll get you ammo.
• Why do vampires get to kiss all the girls?
• Carla is kinda hot too.

Things that I didn’t like about this episode…

• Wasn’t it daylight when the vamps attacked the reporter?

Episode  2

Summary:

The opening scene was awesome.  “I’m going to shoot her if you don’t.

The cops are crazy and maybe a bit gay.  Episode two doesn’t disappoint.  My only dissapointment was that it was only 22 minutes long.

Things I loved about this episode…

• Shooting ex girlfriends.
• Filipino lady boys.  It all feels good in the dark. Hmm….okay.
• Zombies are a cross betwen hobos and poo.
• Bryan Callen is great as the goofie ass Dashell. He plays the oversharing creepy guy so well.
• A through the head shot.
• Stubeck is a nice guy.

Things that I didn’t like about this episode…

• The hot blonde cop should have been wearing less and tighter clothes when kick boxing.  Just saying.

Episode  10 – Eight Hours

Summary:

The fighters have left on their raid while Uncle Scott and the team try to figure out what is going on with Ben. The last episode is a little choppy here and there, and leaves you hanging at the end, wondering what will happen next season.  So I guess it did its job in the end.

Things I loved about this episode…

• Pope – don’t worry, the safety is on. (It wasn’t.)
• Thankfully Uncle Scott is alive.
• Rick can really move.
• The girl is super creepy, she’s starting to change.
• Pope giving his resistance speech. As I’ve said before, he’s a d*ck, but sometimes you still like him.
• Maggie making a pact with Jimmy.  I’d watch her back too.
• Sweet, they took a Mech down. Just a few hundred more.  They do look cool when they are walking in unison though.  They fight like the British – line up so we can shoot you.
• Jimmy is a lucky kid.
• Karyn speaking for the aliens. “They didn’t expect resistance at this level.”

Things that I didn’t like about this episode…

• Oh crap, Rick isn’t on our team anymore (if he ever was once he was brought back.)
• Why do you have the fifty cal in a convertible?  Wouldn’t some armor around it be a good idea?
• Rick tells Tom that he’s basically given the Skidders all the tactical info he has.  I’m sorry, but treason is treason.  It’s time to put a round into Rick’s head.
• Weaver’s got a few trucks and fifty fighters, and he wants to strike no matter what. It just seems like bad tactics. Start picking mechs and Skidders off on the streets and see how many of the bastards you can thin out. Versus throwing away fifty valuable fighters on a suicide mission.
• Tom sure can find everyone else who got shot up prettty fast.
• Wouldn’t the aliens have ground units near the base of their mother ship?
• Why is there an RPG in Massachusetts? And why did nailing a single fighter to do so much damage.
• Why would Tom think that going with the aliens would keep them from calling Ben back anyway? What guarantee does he have?

Episode  9 – Mutiny

Summary:

Ann has discovered that the harnessed kids may be turning into the Skidders, but the discovery is overshadowed by Weaver’s erratic behavior.

Things I loved about this episode…

• Lourdes is such a sweety, but who gives uppers and downers to thier commanding officer without telling their boss (Ann)
• Max rationalizing that he is staying away from Pope, just not that far, so he’s doing what his Dad said.
• Uncle Scott working with Ben, even if what Ben discovers may not be so good in the long run. Uncle Scott is such a nice guy.
• Tom motivating Pope to defuse the four bombs.
• Pope talking about killing cooties.
• Maggie telling Pope off.
• Tom, Uncle Scott, and Ben talking about the radio jammer and Skidders.  I think they are setting something up for next season.

Things that I didn’t like about this episode…

• Tom isn’t freaked out enough when Ann shows him the harness inside the Skidder.
• Is Tom’s weapon of choice changing? He usually has an AK but I think I saw a M4.
• I guess Mech metal has a low melting point? Very convenient.
• Rick is freaking me out. I get that Ben is trying to be his friend but there comes a time to let other people know.
• Could Tom really take out a trained soldier in a fist fight? He was a history teacher.
• If you’ve gone crazy (as in Weaver) can you regain your sanity so easily like he did when Tom confronted him?

Episode  8 – What Hides Beneath

Summary:

Captain Weaver is having trouble sleeping and is showing signs of decreased operational awareness. The school has been compromised but the Skidders are pulling back to their main ships, for unknown reasons, but Porter is ready to take the attack to the Skidders. In the meantime Ann and Lourdes are making dark discoveries about the Harnessed kids and the Skidders.

Things I loved about this episode…

• Pope has some demolition skills.
• Rick is drawing pictures of his life as a slave.
• Uncle Scott blowing a hole through the walls. I guess no one was down range.
• Is there anything Captain Weaver hasn’t done? He’s soldier/OB/contractor.
• The reveal of the new humanoid aliens. It changes the layout of the battlefield.  Are Skidders just grunts and not the decision makers like the survivors thought?
• Max and Pope bonding. “Out of the mouths of babes.”
• Ann and Lourdes doing alien autopsies. The Skidders may be the end result of humans being enslaved? Is Ben turning into a Skidder?
• Karyn is at the door, with her friend the alien.
• Captain Weaver’s wife and oldest daughter might be alive.
• All the guns on Pope when he’s showing them how to use the alien bullets.

Things that I didn’t like about this episode…

• Poor Captain Weaver is having nightmares.
• Rick is sitting right there drawing about Skidders as they are discussing their big attack plan. Does anyone else see problems with that.
• Ben’s seems physically very fit but there is something going on with his harness spikes.
• Wouldn’t shooting in the middle of an alien controlled city be a bad idea?
• I don’t trust Rick. He wants to be taken back to the Skidders.
• How has the old woman stayed alive for so long right next to the alien base? Oh wait, she’s crazy  after the Skidders let her go. But there is something very creepy about the way she has supplies and stuff.
• Captain Weaver goes back to his house.  He remembers all the bad things that happened when the initial attack happened.
• Captain Weaver was forced to take a harness off his own daughter and the pain is just too much. He’s giving up.
• Once gain, your going to let alien sympathizers live? She’s a crazy old lady but they should have cut her down.
• Rick running after he see’s Pope shoot through mech armor.