Cooties is one of those movies that somehow slipped by me when it came out. I was stunned as I watched it. The cast is full of top notch talent showing off their comedy chops. Cooties has that rare mix of action and humor that is just so hard to find.
Elijah Wood plays Clint, a down on his luck writer who is subbing at his hometown middle school. He’s really an author, but needs to pay the bills as he tries to finish his next book. Once in the school he encounters Lucy, played by Alison Pill. Clint immediately falls for Lucy. Unfortunately for Clint, Lucy is dating Wade, played Rainn Wilson. Wade is the gym teacher, and a smuck.
The first 20 minutes set up the story, but its worth the wait. The kids have been infected with tainted nuggets! This turns them into crazed (more than normal) little monsters who crave human flesh. I love how the movie opens with Wade shooting hoops. He is completely unaware of what is going down behind him.
Spoilers Below
When Wade finally turns around, he’s surrounded by hungry kids as the rest of the teachers watch from the lounge.
The teachers have a brief moment of hope when a police cruiser pulls up. It doesn’t last long. Wade then puts the surviving teachers in danger. He opens the lounge door, letting the infected in. The teachers are forced to run for it, fleeing up to the second floor, hungry children hot on their heels.
Wade and Clint then go out, each of them having a slightly different strategy for survival. Wade is an Orc, ready for battle, and he accuses Clint of being a little Hobbit – yes he did.
While the teachers are struggling, the crossing guard (played by Jorge Garcia) is high as a kite. He’s not sure if he’s hallucinating or really seeing the kids tear into the adults. How else can you come to terms with kids turning the playground into a bloodbath?
The creepy science/sex Ed teacher then does an autopsy and comes to the conclusion that only pre pubescent kids are turned into monsters when infected – it’s just the flu for adults and older kids.
From the moment the teachers realize what’s going on, Cooties is non stop action with a ton of one liners thrown in to make you laugh. I had to watch it twice just to make sure I picked up on most of them.
Cooties is everything a good Zombie Comedy should be. There are laughs, but the Zombies are still the focus, and the writers did an awesome job of keeping Cooties fresh and original.
Cooties Scoring
Cooties scored an 89/100 and is Worth Your Time. Elijah Wood may have played the main character, but Rainn Wilson stole the show. Now I get to look forward to Cooties 2 hopefully coming out.
| Review | Year | Score | Type |
|---|---|---|---|
| Zombieland | 2010 | 100 | Comedy / Action |
| Train To Busan | 2016 | 100 | Action / Infection |
| 28 Days Later | 2002 | 100 | Action / Infection |
| World War Z | 2013 | 100 | Action / Infection |
| Night Of The Living Dead | 1968 | 100 | Action / Horror / Classics |
| Dawn Of The Dead | 1978 | 100 | Action / Horror / Classics |
| #Alive | 2020 | 100 | Action / Infection |
| Serenity | 2005 | 99 | Action / Sci-Fi |
| Flesh And Blood | 2018 | 99 | Shorts |
| The Girl With All The Gifts | 2016 | 95 | Action / Infection |
| Land Of The Dead | 2005 | 94 | Action / Horror |
| Resident Evil: Apocalypse | 2004 | 93 | Action / Infection |
| Resident Evil | 2002 | 92 | Action / Infection |
| Rampant | 2018 | 91 | Action / Infection / Mid Evil |
| Day of the Dead | 2008 | 90 | Action / Infection |
| Cooties | 2014 | 89 | Comedy / Action |
| Night of the Comet | 1984 | 85 | Comedy / Action |
| The Return of the Living Dead | 1985 | 85 | Comedy / Action |
| Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula | 2020 | 84 | Action / Infection |
| Zombieland: Double Tap | 2019 | 83 | Comedy / Action |
| Fido | 2006 | 82 | Comedy / Action |
| Shaun Of The Dead | 2004 | 81 | Comedy / Action |
| 28 Weeks Later | 2007 | 80 | Action / Infection |
| I Am Legend (2007) | 2007 | 80 | Action / Infection |
| The Evil Dead | 1981 | 80 | Classic / Action |
| Zombie | 1979 | 80 | Action / Horror |
| Overlord | 2018 | 79 | Action / Horror |
| It Stains The Sands Red | 2016 | 79 | Action / Infection |
| Infection | 2019 | 79 | Action / Infection |
| Plan Z | 2016 | 78 | Action / Infection |
| A Little Bit Zombie | 2012 | 78 | Comedy / Action |
| Dead Rising: Endgame | 2016 | 77 | Action / Infection |
| Day of the Dead | 1985 | 77 | Action / Horror / Classics |
| Wyrmwood: Apocalypse | 2021 | 77 | Action / Infection |
| The Dead | 2010 | 76 | Action / Infection |
| Freaks of Nature | 2015 | 76 | Comedy / Action |
| Here Alone | 2016 | 75 | Suspense / Infection |
| Cockneys Vs. Zombies | 2012 | 75 | Comedy / Action |
| Shed of the Dead | 2019 | 74 | Comedy / Action |
| The Battery | 2012 | 74 | Drama / Infection |
| State of Emergency | 2011 | 73 | Action / Infection |
| Survival Of The Dead | 2009 | 73 | Action / Horror |
| Alone | 2020 | 73 | Action / Infection |
| The Rezort | 2015 | 72 | Action / Infection |
| Dance of the Dead | 2008 | 72 | Comedy / Action |
| Dawning of the Dead | 2017 | 72 | Action / Infection |
| Remains | 2011 | 72 | Action / Infection |
| Daylight's End | 2016 | 71 | Action / Infection |
| Witness Infection | 2021 | 71 | Comedy / Action |
| The Army of the Dead | 2021 | 71 | Action / Infection |
| The Dead 2: India | 2015 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Zombie Hunter | 2013 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Dead Rising: Watchtower | 2015 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Zombie Night | 2013 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| For A Few Zombies More | 2015 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Night of the Living Deb | 2015 | 70 | Comedy / Romance |
| Resident Evil: Afterlife | 2010 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse | 2015 | 70 | Comedy / Action |
| Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead | 2014 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| The Valley Of The Dead | 2021 | 70 | Horror / Infection |
| Bird Box | 2018 | 69 | Action / Horror / Possession |
| Exit Humanity | 2011 | 69 | Action / Infection |
| Among The Living | 2022 | 69 | Suspense / Horror |
| Ravenous | 2017 | 68 | Action / Infection |
| Blood Quantum | 2019 | 68 | Action / Infection |
| Republic Z | 2018 | 68 | Action / Comedy |
| The Night Eats The World | 2018 | 67 | Suspense / Infection |
| Forget Everything And Run (F.E.A.R.) | 2021 | 67 | Suspense / Horror |
| Quarantine | 2008 | 67 | Infection / Horror |
| Trench 11 | 2017 | 66 | Action / Horror |
| Cargo | 2017 | 66 | Suspense / Infection |
| How To Kill A Zombie | 2014 | 66 | Action / Comedy |
| Ultimate Zombie Feast | 2020 | 66 | Shorts/ Action |
| Zoombies | 2016 | 65 | Awesomely Bad |
| Zombie Town | 2007 | 65 | Action / Horror |
| Dead County | 2021 | 65 | Drama / Horror |
| Zombie Apocalypse | 2011 | 64 | Action / Infection |
| Quarantine 2 | 2011 | 64 | Action / Infection |
| The End? | 2017 | 64 | Horror / Infection |
| Red Spring | 2017 | 63 | Action / Infection |
| Resident Evil: Extinction | 2007 | 62 | Action / Infection |
| Virus:32 | 2022 | 62 | Horror / Infection |
| Resident Evil Retribution | 2012 | 61 | Action / Infection |
| Resident Evil: The Final Chapter | 2016 | 60 | Action / Infection |
| Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead | 2023 | 60 | Comedy / Action |
| Life After Beth | 2014 | 59 | Comedy / Action |
| Diary Of The Dead | 2007 | 58 | Action / Horror |
| Revelation Trail | 2013 | 57 | Action / Horror |
| My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse | 2015 | 56 | Comedy / Action |
| Eat Brains Love | 2019 | 56 | Comedy / Horror |
| Anna And The Apocalypse | 2017 | 55 | Musical / Infection |
| Deadsight | 2018 | 55 | Suspense / Infection |
| Bong of the Living Dead | 2017 | 54 | Action / Infection |
| Amigo Undead | 2015 | 54 | Comedy / Horror |
| The Dead Undead | 2010 | 53 | Action / Infection |
| Black Friday | 2021 | 53 | Action / Horror |
| Deadheads | 2011 | 52 | Comedy / Romance |
| Redcon-1 | 2018 | 52 | Action / Horror |
| Day of the Dead: Bloodline | 2018 | 51 | Action / Infection |
| Dead Don't Die in Dallas | 2019 | 51 | Action / Infection / LGBTQ |
| Disaster L.A. | 2014 | 50 | Action |
| Road Wars | 2015 | 50 | Action / Infection |
| Within the Woods of Undead County | 2016 | 49 | Action / Infection |
| Zombie Strippers! | 2008 | 49 | Horror / Comedy |
| I Am Alone | 2015 | 48 | Action / Infection |
| Rise of The Zombies | 2012 | 48 | Action / Infection |
| Day Zero | 2023 | 48 | Horror / Infection |
| Valentine DayZ | 2018 | 47 | Action / Infection / Awesomely Bad |
| Savageland | 2015 | 46 | Horror / Drama |
| Lethal Virus | 2021 | 46 | Action / Horror |
| Infected | 2019 | 45 | Shorts |
| Zombie Warz: Falls The Shadow | 2011 | 45 | Action / Horror |
| Block Z | 2020 | 44 | Action / Infection |
| Bridge of the Doomed | 2022 | 44 | Horror / Infection |
| The Dead Don't Die | 2019 | 43 | Spoof / Drama |
| Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City | 2021 | 43 | Action / Horror |
| Strain 100 | 2020 | 42 | Action / Infection |
| The Plague | 2006 | 42 | Action / Horror |
| When the Fever Breaks | 2019 | 41 | Suspense / Infection |
| Before Dawn | 2013 | 41 | Drama / Action |
| Infected | 2021 | 41 | Action / Horror |
| Hostile | 2017 | 40 | Action / Infection |
| Zombie Undead | 2010 | 40 | Action / Infection |
| Dead Before Down | 2012 | 39 | Horror / Supernatural |
| Gangs Of The Dead | 2006 | 38 | Action / Infection |
| Zombies | 2017 | 37 | Action / Infection |
| American Zombieland | 2020 | 36 | Comedy / Infection |
| Another World | 2014 | 35 | Action / Infection |
| Deadlocked | 2020 | 35 | Action / Infection |
| Dead Trigger | 2017 | 35 | Action / Infection |
| Zombie Diaries 2 | 2011 | 35 | Action / Infection |
| Cannon Fodder / Battle Of The Undead | 2013 | 35 | Action / Horror |
| KL24: Zombies | 2017 | 34 | Action / Infection |
| Evilution | 2009 | 34 | Action / Horror |
| Antisocial 2 | 2015 | 33 | Action / Infection |
| Re-Elected | 2020 | 33 | Comedy / Suspense |
| Antisocial | 2013 | 32 | Action / Infection |
| Aquarium of the Dead | 2021 | 32 | Comedy / Horror |
| Dead 7 | 2016 | 31 | Action / Infection |
| By Day's End | 2020 | 31 | Suspense / Infection |
| Pandemic | 2016 | 30 | Action / Infection |
| Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies | 2017 | 29 | Comedy / Action |
| Zombie Hood | 2013 | 28 | Action / Infection |
| The Dustwalker | 2019 | 27 | Action / Parasite |
| Day of the Dead 2: Contagium | 2005 | 26 | Action / Infection |
| Anger Of The Dead | 2015 | 25 | Action / Infection |
| Solar Impact | 2019 | 25 | Action / Horror |
| The Last Hope | 2017 | 24 | Action / Infection |
| The Day of the Living Dead | 2014 | 23 | Drama / Detective |
| Zombie Road | 2018 | 22 | Shorts |
| Zombie Wars | 2007 | 21 | Action / Infection |
| Last Rites Of The Dead | 2019 | 20 | Drama / Thriller |
| Army of Thieves | 2021 | 20 | Heist / Horror |
| The Mad | 2007 | 19 | Comedy / Infection |
| The Living Dead | 2020 | 18 | Horror / Drama |
| Zone of the Dead | 2009 | 17 | Action / Infection |
| Killer Weekend | 2018 | 16 | Comedy / Not Zombies |
| G Zombie | 2021 | 15 | Drama / Infection |
| Quarantine L.A. | 2013 | 14 | Action / Infection |
| Driven | 2020 | 13 | Drama / Suspense |
| The Hive | 2014 | 12 | Demonic Possession / Horror |
| The Horde | 2016 | 11 | Action / Gore |
| The Last Starship | 2017 | 10 | Action / Infection |
| Rebirth | 2020 | 10 | Action / Horror |
| Rise of the Zombie | 2013 | 9 | Drama / Action |
| Rising Undead / Rise of the Undead | 2005 | 9 | Action / Horror |
| Flu | 2013 | 8 | Infection / Not Zombies |
| Plague | 2014 | 8 | Suspense / Drama |
| Red Days | 2016 | 7 | Action / Infection |
| The Returned | 2013 | 6 | Drama / Romance |
| Apocalypse Nerds | 2012 | 5 | Comedy / Action |
| Zombie with a Shotgun | 2019 | 4 | Infection / Drama |
| Soon Enough | 2018 | 3 | Action / Drama |
| Range 15 | 2016 | 2 | Comedy / Action |
| Army of the Dead | 2008 | 2 | Action / Horror |
| Eyes Of The Dead | 2015 | 1 | Action / Infection |
| Pandemic | 2009 | 1 | Drama / Action |
| Nazi Undead | 2018 | 1 | Paranormal / Horror |
| Dead End | 2003 | 0 | Horror / Thriller |
| Broadcast Dead | 2018 | 0 | Horror / Thriller |
| Afflicted | 2013 | 0 | Drama / Infection |
| Carriers | 2009 | 0 | Drama / Not Zombies |
| Curse of the Blind Dead | 2020 | 0 | Horror / Not Zombies |
| All My Friends Are Dead | 2021 | 0 | Horror / Not Zombies |
