Cooties is one of those movies that somehow slipped by me when it came out. I was stunned as I watched it. The cast is full of top notch talent showing off their comedy chops. Cooties has that rare mix of action and humor that is just so hard to find.
Elijah Wood plays Clint, a down on his luck writer who is subbing at his hometown middle school. He’s really an author, but needs to pay the bills as he tries to finish his next book. Once in the school he encounters Lucy, played by Alison Pill. Clint immediately falls for Lucy. Unfortunately for Clint, Lucy is dating Wade, played Rainn Wilson. Wade is the gym teacher, and a smuck.
The first 20 minutes set up the story, but its worth the wait. The kids have been infected with tainted nuggets! This turns them into crazed (more than normal) little monsters who crave human flesh. I love how the movie opens with Wade shooting hoops. He is completely unaware of what is going down behind him.
Spoilers Below
When Wade finally turns around, he’s surrounded by hungry kids as the rest of the teachers watch from the lounge.
The teachers have a brief moment of hope when a police cruiser pulls up. It doesn’t last long. Wade then puts the surviving teachers in danger. He opens the lounge door, letting the infected in. The teachers are forced to run for it, fleeing up to the second floor, hungry children hot on their heels.
Wade and Clint then go out, each of them having a slightly different strategy for survival. Wade is an Orc, ready for battle, and he accuses Clint of being a little Hobbit – yes he did.
While the teachers are struggling, the crossing guard (played by Jorge Garcia) is high as a kite. He’s not sure if he’s hallucinating or really seeing the kids tear into the adults. How else can you come to terms with kids turning the playground into a bloodbath?
The creepy science/sex Ed teacher then does an autopsy and comes to the conclusion that only pre pubescent kids are turned into monsters when infected – it’s just the flu for adults and older kids.
From the moment the teachers realize what’s going on, Cooties is non stop action with a ton of one liners thrown in to make you laugh. I had to watch it twice just to make sure I picked up on most of them.
Cooties is everything a good Zombie Comedy should be. There are laughs, but the Zombies are still the focus, and the writers did an awesome job of keeping Cooties fresh and original.
Cooties Scoring
Cooties scored an 89/100 and is Worth Your Time. Elijah Wood may have played the main character, but Rainn Wilson stole the show. Now I get to look forward to Cooties 2 hopefully coming out.
| Review | Year | Score | Type |
|---|---|---|---|
| #Alive | 2020 | 100 | Action / Infection |
| Dawn Of The Dead | 1978 | 100 | Action / Horror / Classics |
| Night Of The Living Dead | 1968 | 100 | Action / Horror / Classics |
| World War Z | 2013 | 100 | Action / Infection |
| 28 Days Later | 2002 | 100 | Action / Infection |
| Train To Busan | 2016 | 100 | Action / Infection |
| Zombieland | 2010 | 100 | Comedy / Action |
| Flesh And Blood | 2018 | 99 | Shorts |
| Serenity | 2005 | 99 | Action / Sci-Fi |
| The Girl With All The Gifts | 2016 | 95 | Action / Infection |
| Land Of The Dead | 2005 | 94 | Action / Horror |
| Resident Evil: Apocalypse | 2004 | 93 | Action / Infection |
| Resident Evil | 2002 | 92 | Action / Infection |
| Rampant | 2018 | 91 | Action / Infection / Mid Evil |
| Day of the Dead | 2008 | 90 | Action / Infection |
| Cooties | 2014 | 89 | Comedy / Action |
| The Return of the Living Dead | 1985 | 85 | Comedy / Action |
| Night of the Comet | 1984 | 85 | Comedy / Action |
| Train to Busan Presents: Peninsula | 2020 | 84 | Action / Infection |
| Zombieland: Double Tap | 2019 | 83 | Comedy / Action |
| Fido | 2006 | 82 | Comedy / Action |
| Shaun Of The Dead | 2004 | 81 | Comedy / Action |
| Zombie | 1979 | 80 | Action / Horror |
| The Evil Dead | 1981 | 80 | Classic / Action |
| I Am Legend (2007) | 2007 | 80 | Action / Infection |
| 28 Weeks Later | 2007 | 80 | Action / Infection |
| Infection | 2019 | 79 | Action / Infection |
| It Stains The Sands Red | 2016 | 79 | Action / Infection |
| Overlord | 2018 | 79 | Action / Horror |
| A Little Bit Zombie | 2012 | 78 | Comedy / Action |
| Plan Z | 2016 | 78 | Action / Infection |
| Wyrmwood: Apocalypse | 2021 | 77 | Action / Infection |
| Day of the Dead | 1985 | 77 | Action / Horror / Classics |
| Dead Rising: Endgame | 2016 | 77 | Action / Infection |
| Freaks of Nature | 2015 | 76 | Comedy / Action |
| The Dead | 2010 | 76 | Action / Infection |
| Cockneys Vs. Zombies | 2012 | 75 | Comedy / Action |
| Here Alone | 2016 | 75 | Suspense / Infection |
| The Battery | 2012 | 74 | Drama / Infection |
| Shed of the Dead | 2019 | 74 | Comedy / Action |
| Alone | 2020 | 73 | Action / Infection |
| Survival Of The Dead | 2009 | 73 | Action / Horror |
| State of Emergency | 2011 | 73 | Action / Infection |
| Remains | 2011 | 72 | Action / Infection |
| Dawning of the Dead | 2017 | 72 | Action / Infection |
| Dance of the Dead | 2008 | 72 | Comedy / Action |
| The Rezort | 2015 | 72 | Action / Infection |
| The Army of the Dead | 2021 | 71 | Action / Infection |
| Witness Infection | 2021 | 71 | Comedy / Action |
| Daylight's End | 2016 | 71 | Action / Infection |
| The Valley Of The Dead | 2021 | 70 | Horror / Infection |
| Wyrmwood: Road of the Dead | 2014 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse | 2015 | 70 | Comedy / Action |
| Resident Evil: Afterlife | 2010 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Night of the Living Deb | 2015 | 70 | Comedy / Romance |
| For A Few Zombies More | 2015 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Zombie Night | 2013 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Dead Rising: Watchtower | 2015 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Zombie Hunter | 2013 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| The Dead 2: India | 2015 | 70 | Action / Infection |
| Among The Living | 2022 | 69 | Suspense / Horror |
| Exit Humanity | 2011 | 69 | Action / Infection |
| Bird Box | 2018 | 69 | Action / Horror / Possession |
| Republic Z | 2018 | 68 | Action / Comedy |
| Blood Quantum | 2019 | 68 | Action / Infection |
| Ravenous | 2017 | 68 | Action / Infection |
| Quarantine | 2008 | 67 | Infection / Horror |
| Forget Everything And Run (F.E.A.R.) | 2021 | 67 | Suspense / Horror |
| The Night Eats The World | 2018 | 67 | Suspense / Infection |
| Ultimate Zombie Feast | 2020 | 66 | Shorts/ Action |
| How To Kill A Zombie | 2014 | 66 | Action / Comedy |
| Cargo | 2017 | 66 | Suspense / Infection |
| Trench 11 | 2017 | 66 | Action / Horror |
| Dead County | 2021 | 65 | Drama / Horror |
| Zombie Town | 2007 | 65 | Action / Horror |
| Zoombies | 2016 | 65 | Awesomely Bad |
| The End? | 2017 | 64 | Horror / Infection |
| Quarantine 2 | 2011 | 64 | Action / Infection |
| Zombie Apocalypse | 2011 | 64 | Action / Infection |
| Red Spring | 2017 | 63 | Action / Infection |
| Virus:32 | 2022 | 62 | Horror / Infection |
| Resident Evil: Extinction | 2007 | 62 | Action / Infection |
| Resident Evil Retribution | 2012 | 61 | Action / Infection |
| Zom 100: Bucket List of the Dead | 2023 | 60 | Comedy / Action |
| Resident Evil: The Final Chapter | 2016 | 60 | Action / Infection |
| Life After Beth | 2014 | 59 | Comedy / Action |
| Diary Of The Dead | 2007 | 58 | Action / Horror |
| Revelation Trail | 2013 | 57 | Action / Horror |
| Eat Brains Love | 2019 | 56 | Comedy / Horror |
| My Mates vs. The Zombie Apocalypse | 2015 | 56 | Comedy / Action |
| Deadsight | 2018 | 55 | Suspense / Infection |
| Anna And The Apocalypse | 2017 | 55 | Musical / Infection |
| Amigo Undead | 2015 | 54 | Comedy / Horror |
| Bong of the Living Dead | 2017 | 54 | Action / Infection |
| Black Friday | 2021 | 53 | Action / Horror |
| The Dead Undead | 2010 | 53 | Action / Infection |
| Redcon-1 | 2018 | 52 | Action / Horror |
| Deadheads | 2011 | 52 | Comedy / Romance |
| Dead Don't Die in Dallas | 2019 | 51 | Action / Infection / LGBTQ |
| Day of the Dead: Bloodline | 2018 | 51 | Action / Infection |
| Road Wars | 2015 | 50 | Action / Infection |
| Disaster L.A. | 2014 | 50 | Action |
| Zombie Strippers! | 2008 | 49 | Horror / Comedy |
| Within the Woods of Undead County | 2016 | 49 | Action / Infection |
| Day Zero | 2023 | 48 | Horror / Infection |
| Rise of The Zombies | 2012 | 48 | Action / Infection |
| I Am Alone | 2015 | 48 | Action / Infection |
| Valentine DayZ | 2018 | 47 | Action / Infection / Awesomely Bad |
| Lethal Virus | 2021 | 46 | Action / Horror |
| Savageland | 2015 | 46 | Horror / Drama |
| Zombie Warz: Falls The Shadow | 2011 | 45 | Action / Horror |
| Infected | 2019 | 45 | Shorts |
| Bridge of the Doomed | 2022 | 44 | Horror / Infection |
| Block Z | 2020 | 44 | Action / Infection |
| Resident Evil: Welcome to Raccoon City | 2021 | 43 | Action / Horror |
| The Dead Don't Die | 2019 | 43 | Spoof / Drama |
| The Plague | 2006 | 42 | Action / Horror |
| Strain 100 | 2020 | 42 | Action / Infection |
| Infected | 2021 | 41 | Action / Horror |
| Before Dawn | 2013 | 41 | Drama / Action |
| When the Fever Breaks | 2019 | 41 | Suspense / Infection |
| Zombie Undead | 2010 | 40 | Action / Infection |
| Hostile | 2017 | 40 | Action / Infection |
| Dead Before Down | 2012 | 39 | Horror / Supernatural |
| Gangs Of The Dead | 2006 | 38 | Action / Infection |
| Zombies | 2017 | 37 | Action / Infection |
| American Zombieland | 2020 | 36 | Comedy / Infection |
| Cannon Fodder / Battle Of The Undead | 2013 | 35 | Action / Horror |
| Zombie Diaries 2 | 2011 | 35 | Action / Infection |
| Dead Trigger | 2017 | 35 | Action / Infection |
| Deadlocked | 2020 | 35 | Action / Infection |
| Another World | 2014 | 35 | Action / Infection |
| Evilution | 2009 | 34 | Action / Horror |
| KL24: Zombies | 2017 | 34 | Action / Infection |
| Re-Elected | 2020 | 33 | Comedy / Suspense |
| Antisocial 2 | 2015 | 33 | Action / Infection |
| Aquarium of the Dead | 2021 | 32 | Comedy / Horror |
| Antisocial | 2013 | 32 | Action / Infection |
| By Day's End | 2020 | 31 | Suspense / Infection |
| Dead 7 | 2016 | 31 | Action / Infection |
| Pandemic | 2016 | 30 | Action / Infection |
| Attack of the Southern Fried Zombies | 2017 | 29 | Comedy / Action |
| Zombie Hood | 2013 | 28 | Action / Infection |
| The Dustwalker | 2019 | 27 | Action / Parasite |
| Day of the Dead 2: Contagium | 2005 | 26 | Action / Infection |
| Solar Impact | 2019 | 25 | Action / Horror |
| Anger Of The Dead | 2015 | 25 | Action / Infection |
| The Last Hope | 2017 | 24 | Action / Infection |
| The Day of the Living Dead | 2014 | 23 | Drama / Detective |
| Zombie Road | 2018 | 22 | Shorts |
| Zombie Wars | 2007 | 21 | Action / Infection |
| Army of Thieves | 2021 | 20 | Heist / Horror |
| Last Rites Of The Dead | 2019 | 20 | Drama / Thriller |
| The Mad | 2007 | 19 | Comedy / Infection |
| The Living Dead | 2020 | 18 | Horror / Drama |
| Zone of the Dead | 2009 | 17 | Action / Infection |
| Killer Weekend | 2018 | 16 | Comedy / Not Zombies |
| G Zombie | 2021 | 15 | Drama / Infection |
| Quarantine L.A. | 2013 | 14 | Action / Infection |
| Driven | 2020 | 13 | Drama / Suspense |
| The Hive | 2014 | 12 | Demonic Possession / Horror |
| The Horde | 2016 | 11 | Action / Gore |
| Rebirth | 2020 | 10 | Action / Horror |
| The Last Starship | 2017 | 10 | Action / Infection |
| Rising Undead / Rise of the Undead | 2005 | 9 | Action / Horror |
| Rise of the Zombie | 2013 | 9 | Drama / Action |
| Plague | 2014 | 8 | Suspense / Drama |
| Flu | 2013 | 8 | Infection / Not Zombies |
| Red Days | 2016 | 7 | Action / Infection |
| The Returned | 2013 | 6 | Drama / Romance |
| Apocalypse Nerds | 2012 | 5 | Comedy / Action |
| Zombie with a Shotgun | 2019 | 4 | Infection / Drama |
| Soon Enough | 2018 | 3 | Action / Drama |
| Army of the Dead | 2008 | 2 | Action / Horror |
| Range 15 | 2016 | 2 | Comedy / Action |
| Nazi Undead | 2018 | 1 | Paranormal / Horror |
| Pandemic | 2009 | 1 | Drama / Action |
| Eyes Of The Dead | 2015 | 1 | Action / Infection |
| All My Friends Are Dead | 2021 | 0 | Horror / Not Zombies |
| Curse of the Blind Dead | 2020 | 0 | Horror / Not Zombies |
| Carriers | 2009 | 0 | Drama / Not Zombies |
| Afflicted | 2013 | 0 | Drama / Infection |
| Broadcast Dead | 2018 | 0 | Horror / Thriller |
| Dead End | 2003 | 0 | Horror / Thriller |
